Over...and over again.

 I laid there, motionless, tears streaming down my face. 

I thought to myself, have I forgotten the feeling of pain? Of how love just makes you feel that way sometimes? At least the love that I know of.

I could not bring myself to see beyond this. I feel trapped into a vision that is only full of probabilities...because the reality pans out so far from the one that I kept visioning everyday. The longing and desire to be by his side. To love and live life with him. To see that life revolves around him, and how time just stops when I am by his side. To stop in my tracks every time he caught my eye.

I am in love with the man in my head. The man that I so desperately want to come into existence. To fill the void and set my soul free. The man who loves me, who will always prioritise me not because I need to, but just because it is nice to know that he would do that for me. The man who leaves me letters as Im busy being in love with him. The man whose words will touch my soul like no other. The man that I do not have to make up excuses for. 

Maybe...I am just in love with love and... maybe that is enough to keep me going.